A few months ago, I wrote about how you can become a superhero. If you were not born a superhero, I mentioned that if you’re lucky enough to be a filthy rich man, you can create your own powers just like Bruce Wayne (a.k.a. Batman) and Tony Stark (a.k.a. Iron Man) did. The following video, however, emphasizes the difference between being a rich superhero and being born a superhero.
The video shows us that the relationship between super rich superheroes and born superheroes is a bit like that of Salieri and Mozart. Try as they might, the rich stars have a hard time getting over the natural talent of their born competitors.
While Superman seems to effortlessly stop crime in its tracks, I prefer Bruce Wayne simply because Superman’s suit is kitsch and so 30 years ago. And, honestly, Christian Bale in a tight black suit is wonderful eye candy…c’mon, I know I’m not alone!
If you can not fly or read my mind right now, my guess is that you are not a born superhero. However, where there is a will, there is a way. Below I tell you how you can become a superhero—in only two easy steps.
Step 1: Make a ton of money
Remember, Tony Starck and Bruce Wayne aren’t people with extraordinary powers. They are just filthy rich men. Millionaire inventor Tony Stark is loaded and doesn’t mind reminding you. Learn from Tony and make your fortune in arms dealing…or, maybe your parents are rich like Bruce’s.
Step 2: Buy your own power
You can buy a lightening energy source and put it on your chest to become a cyborg. Or, even easier, just choose your favorite color and find yourself a suit. But make sure it’s a skin-tight suit that shows off your body—trust me! Superman, Spiderman, Batman… No respectable superhero wears baggy clothing. After spending all those hours sculpting their body, superheros are more than happy to flaunt what they’ve got.
Step 1 and 2 done, you now have extraordinary powers. You can stop here if that’s all you’re looking for. However, if you want to become a popular superhero, you need a bit of drama in you life. Your life isn’t dramatic enough? Then create some, just like Batman did.
No one asked Batman to save the world and pretend that he was a natural born playboy. Learn from him and struggle between natural good and evil regularly, without needing reminding. Spiderman, in his black-colored tights, did the same thing successfully. Struggle, and do it regularly—you will look like a real superhero.
Is it really worth it? I think so. At the very least, the filthy rich man dressed in a tight, black suit is looking good in the new teaser for Batman: The Dark Knight.
As I am a simple person, I prefer Joker in The Dark Knight. He is straight-forward—he knows what he wants and has no internal struggle about it. And Joker is not as evil as people think he is—he does help Batman become a superhero. And, anyway, to become a superhero, you need enemies.
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